the clock is ticking…..
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eta3ka on tick tock tick tock deadangel_8 on sibuk hamadahmahir on sibuk nawar on sibuk d3vilst3ch on sibuk
duit hantaran… is it important?
i mean, why do people ask me that when they know i’m gonna be married soon?
yang penting nye mas kahwin tu, kan? correct me if i’m wrong…
it bothers me, a lot when they asked me.
the figure that i put out was just for formality purposes. random number, out of thin air… well, ok, not exactly, but at that time, it’s a number that i know can cover some of the expenses of the wedding. that’s all that matters to me.
duit hantaran is not important enough to be asked or to be advertised around.
if i tell them my hantaran is 20k, what would that tells you about me?
on the other hand, if i tell them that my hantaran is 2k?
i don’t see the significance of duit hantaran.
it is not even included in the 7 dulang hantaran my sayang will give me. and it is upon my request.
my answer to anyone who ask: the amount is undisclosable. please feel free to speculate. thank you 
by the way, i had a funny dream last night.
lately my dreams are around weddings and married life 
anyway, the dream was about him coming to my house for nikah and i wasn’t ready yet! to be exact, i was not even aware that i was supposed to get ready for the ceremony. nobody told me!
and i was really devastated thinking that now i can never get to wear my nikah dress at all!
and to think that there are more pressing matters than not being able to wear the dress 
oh yeah, of course, in that dream, he only had to lafaz nikah once and we are now (then?) married. it should make me happy but all that i thought/felt about was the disappointment of not being able to wear the dress. hahaha.
i definitely need to set my priorities right.
October is a busy month for me. i’ve to postpone the date with the bestie last time and up till now, still couldn’t find the best possible time to chill together 
last week, i was in Kertih for 2 days. happening basic training course attended by ethylene operations people. and i’ve experienced the most expensive taxi ride in the world! a 5 minute ride costs us a mind-boggling RM25! and that’s after negotiating with the driver i think, it was probably because of the caucasian man that was with me then 
then the last 2 days i was in Hanin’s office for another basic training. unfortunately, Hanin didn’t join the training but managed to catch up with her on our 15 mins break. also met Arom the next morning. he’s thinner (i think).
today, we went to the boss’s open house in Bdr Tun Hussein Onn. they served my favourite Laksa Penang. caught up with my colleagues and we exchanged gossips. i was not in the office for most of the time lately so i missed out on a few gossips – 2 of my colleagues are leaving us. 1 already resigned and another will resign soon, probably next week
haih. i wonder whether the nature of the job or the office environment that made people didn’t want to stay very long. i am still the longest-serving employee…
and the night was spent at gallery chandan for my brother in-law’s Solo Show title: Beyond Print by Raduan Bin Man.
i’ve never really went to his other solo shows before and i think this is the first one that i actually ‘look’ at his paintings and scrutinize every detail.
but i think, of all his paintings and shows (groups or otherwise) he had had so far, this solo show exceeded previous shows by a thousand miles!
i was proud. today was the official launching of the solo show (with Press Conf at 5 PM) but when we got there at 745 PM, most of the paintings already have red dots on their labels – showed that the piece of art has been bought by somebody
dad and sayang calculated the total paintings that he has sold so far – more than Rm100 k! 50% will go to the gallery, of course 
i’ve gone crazy with the camera again. i’ve not gotten any inspirations lately to take out the camera and shoot at something. but today the photo frenzy bulb lit up again though i’ve used auto mode for all the shots.
i’ve had nightmares taking photos under low light and at night – my lens wasn’t powerful enough for such conditions but this time….
families – mine and cik mah, my mom’s youngest sister
sayang was impressed too
aqil turun naik tangga
purposely taken for his facebook profile pic
my favourite piece, 17×17 blocks i think…. price : RM 32k
too bad that we have other important priorities to use the money for. it’ll be a good investment, ey?
for facebook album click here
Lately, I’ve been dreaming of UK.
I’ve been dreaming of people I’ve worked with at Gilds. All the girls and boys I’ve befriended during my final year in UK. Oh, the fun we had…
I’ve dreamt about being in UK and feeling out-of-place, but determine to venture out to snap loads of photos for the last time.
I’ve dreamt about boarding a flight heading to Manchester.
I’ve dreamt about staying in an apartment facing the university (no, not Weston Hall ). I remembered I felt weird for being in that place but again determine to enjoy UK one last time.
I guess I did not properly say goodbye.
I have a lot of things that I wanted to do in UK that I had not had the time to, and now regretting the fact I did not even try to do all those things that I wanted to do when I was there.
Regret.
No, I’m not wishing that I can turn back the time.
I’m wishing that I am given a second chance to enjoy life in UK with my fiancé.
I’m feeling melancholic all of a sudden (tgk P&ID pun leh feel melancholy. Dasat betul)
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A friend from Yayasan Selangor gave birth to a premature baby a week after 1 Syawal. He was born on the 8th months of the pregnancy.
He’s been in the NICU since then and now is battling infections in his lungs and brain.
His brain is infected with Flavobacterium. If he survives, he has high chances of being deaf, spastic and whole lot of other things.
Wires and tubes are covering 70% of his body.
The Doctor has once pronounced that the baby cannot survive this battle.
He proved the doctor wrong by getting off oxygen support on Tuesday.
But, yesterday, he stopped breathing and is hooked to oxygen support machine again.
He is strong. He’s opening his eyes and already moving his leg.
Please pray for Ammar Fakhrullah.
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Furniture has been moved and some are stored. Curtains washed; new railings were installed. Ribbons were cut (another 1000 ribbons to go).
I went for my 2nd fittings. Hopefully the dresses will be ready by Saturday. Then I can shop for accessories and shoes.
The fiancé looks really happy lately. I am happy seeing him happy. Pegi office pon fikir pasal wedding. macam mana nak buat keje ni…..
marriage, i used to think, is to join 2 families together.
as a matter of fact, marriage is actually creating the third family (read this from a blog, sorry can’t remember whom).
so, i need to remember that when we’ve tied the knot, neither his nor my family should be atop of our family.
it looks like the dream to own a property has to take a back seat at the moment. with the wedding coming up, i don’t think we have the time to find loans and whatnot for buying a house…
it was fortunate that a friend i’ve been acquainted with during my 1 3/4 years working called me up this morning and offering his condo for us to rent – with a possibility to sell IF he’s offered to continue his Masters to PhD.
so we went to his house tonight and i fell in love with the place even before i was inside his condo!
if he’s decided NOT to sell the condo in the future, i’m gonna look and search around for a house around the same area.
it’s air is cool – surrounded by trees and a bit up on the hill.
belakang zoo negara.
such a gem.
p/s: mr. fiance even suggested to cancel the honeymoon and just stay home instead
he was ecstatic with the house that he suggested to start moving in our stuff by end of October
credit to that friend too actually… he did a great job decorating the house. cool choice of wallpapers and paint.
for Ampang/Melawati area, 3r2b, 1k ++ sqft, half furnished, RM 600 per month rent and rm 150 maintenance fee… who would say no?
even the one in Sentul Utama, 890 sqft, RM 900 per month…..
just over a month to go and instead of watching everything fell into place, i see disaster instead. arrrgghh! i cannot actually fathom that in a month time, i’m gonna be legally his! rasa mcm baru je hari tu tunang…………………….
i had my first fitting today (the only good thing from today). i am totally in love with my nikah dress! it’s nothing extravagant; a simple beaded chiffon kurung moden with kain kosong kembang payung but the tailor did a good job aligning the beads and whatnot, it made the dress looked expensive (or so methinks… ) can i say that i fell in love with myself? i feel like going to sleep with the dress on!
one thing was that it’s a tad too sexy…………………… it’s white. and everything is see-through, uknowwhatimean? my kain already has linings and yet i can still see the colour of my panties! dush~ dush~ note to self: buy skin-coloured panties!
i’m gonna be wearing a corset and the only parts that are double-lining were the arms – my back will be totally exposed. sexy, ok! i hope my tudung and veil can cover up the big chunks of it….
but the thing is, the tailor made the dresses a tad too big. i’m small and plump. so i need everything to be tight-fitted (a wee bit more) so that it will be seen that it IS my dress, and not someone else’s.
my reception dress was great too, just need a few alterations here and there and hopefully next week i can go home with the dresses (and tido sekali with the dresses !! so totally worth spending 1K on the chiffons and laces alone!).
i was shocked at first seeing how ‘little’ cloth were used for the 2 tops! at first glance, i thought that, eh…………. mcm kecik sgt je…………..
but after trying them on… wow, i guess i am small, eh? hahaha!
anyway… before all of the above happened, i was at his mak long’s hse for lunch. after discussing with her son in-law, i guess 1500 pax for 250 pax room was very optimistic of me. now i’m thinking of cutting down my invitees.
and the sacrifices will have to come from my friends…………………. dad will never agree to cut down HIS invitees so i guess i have to sacrifice my friends…
i will only invite the close friends…. and i will need all of their cooperations to come at 3 PM instead… haih.
it sucks when my wedding becomes somebody else’s wedding… more to my dad’s wedding instead… rasa kecik hati sangat sekarang… sedih betul rasa…
a month to go, a month to go, a month to go, a month to go, a month to go, a month to go, a month to go, a month to go a month to go, a month to go, a month to go, a month to go, a month to go, a month to go, a month to go, a month to go.
i’ve to keep chanting this to keep my spirits up for the wedding.
i have had one of my worse 2 weeks since the start of ramadhan.
i have made a lot of judgement errors that had haunted me – i was called into the GM room twice in a week! i was down and i had no idea where i am heading with my career as it is at the moment.
it all changed last week. things are turning 180 degrees. hopefully this uplifting moment would last a little bit longer. my spirits are soaring up high!
i’ve always arrived AT LEAST 10 mins late to the office EVERYDAY.
when the office hour starts at 815, i will arrive at 830 AM and now, during fasting month, when office hour starts at 8 AM, i arrived at around 815 AM! i do NOT know how to adjust dah nih……..
giler macam buat company tu aku punya
but surprisingly, the GM has never threw that to my face whenever i was called in for bashing sessions (which was rare for the last 1 1/2 years, until last month).
i only found out yesterday that one reason why the GM never tossed that back to me was that i did finished my work (or ‘producing’ if i may quote him).
ok, so he did mind… onlu that, i have to ensure that i did my work properly and on time from now on
the first time i was called in was because i submitted my monthly reports 3 months late! my bad……..
the next one, a couple of days after that, i was called in because i didn’t informed him where i was the whole day before. i was literally MIA (i’ve actually sent an email to my CEO in US a week before (and he even forgot the email i sent!), but i accepted that i’ve made a bad call by not telling the GM). i was actually in KLCC, teaching a bunch of interns.
he said that he sense that something else is going on behind all these but he did not have the time yet to dig deeper
actually, more or less, i was down because i see no future/prospects in my job anymore. i’ve grown sick and tired and almost gave up; hence buat keje nak tak nak….
i’ve been applying for other jobs everyday for the past 3-4 weeks but until last week, the outcome wasn’t really impressive.
but on Monday, it looks like i have been noticed. please pray for me, all… i really need a breath of fresh air…
and before i went home today, the accountant showed me a piece of paper with some numbers on it. i was confused at first since i have no claims and it is 3 months too early for this year’s bonus
yeay! dapat duit raya dari company! half of my salary even! thank you, thank you, thank you Mr. CEO for being really understanding although i’ve not been great this year………. nak kene put in more efforts from now on just to repay this debt
and received a call on Sunday from my designer/tailor. baju dah siap! leh test fittings dah you know, i have actually forgotten what my wedding dress for the reception supposed to look like – baju kurung ka baju kebaya ka… boleh tak aku luper sungguh?! hahahah.
and i thought that i’ve lost Mom’s important document that she told me convert to soft copy. i’ve been searching high and low, home and office, but to no avail until about an hour ago, i found out that the soft copy is still there in my VAIO! aahh… alhamdulillah. i’ve only checked my Toshiba because i remembered i amended the doc there… i’ve been thinking about how i should inform mom about the lost document and suffer her wrath for the next week or so but now, worry no more!
and now with the duit raya, i can be extra generous to my family this eid! alhamdulillah………. i have been thinking how on earth can i give duit raya to my family…
Praise to God. a lot of good happened lately, but i’m very nervous as i have not been doing anything great at all to be receiving all these good karma
oh yeah… saya start cuti esok!
yesterday, around 10 am, mom called. she sounded worried. she asked me to google on prostate and the illnesses related to it.
ok, i’m really terrible when it comes hearing bad news or discussing about the bad news. i make jokes, laugh here and there. it was inappropriate, especially when i heard the hollow sound of my mom’s voice.
i’ve always heard about prostate cancer but it was a chill to the bone when i heard mom asked me about that.i was thinking, no not another one please….
the next few hours was a blur. boss was chasing my ass off for a design he had requested for his school reunion – personal favour if i remembered he said when he called me in last week. but it doesn’t seem so with him wanting me to change here and there up until the last moment. i should have ask for a fee
i had loads of support emails came up with loads of back and forth with clients too i NEED a partner! i’m handling the whole of PETRONAS for goodness sake! tak menang tangan, ok? nak cuti pon rasa tak sedap hati. haih.
anyway, requested to go back early since no one’s at home and my lil bro harith will come home around 4 PM, and mom was worried since he’ll be alone. by 230 PM, i was out of the office.
it was my first time cooking since ramadhan started. and i realised why one who treats the other for breaking fast, will get double pahala – it was challenging! the heat from the cooking and the need to fight the urges to drink something… gosh…. or is it just me?
oh yeah, found out later that it was not his prostate gland that caused him so much pain but actually a kidney stone. 5 mm to be exact.
since it was the third time he had peed blood, the doc suggested to undergo a procedure to remove the kidney stone rather than use a medication to let it comes out naturally. and it was scheduled to be today at 5 PM.
my lil bro was in the middle of his UPSR exams, so he didn’t follow us to the hosp last night. and he didn’t meet dad until he was about to be discharged today.
anyway, took EL today and stayed home, cleaning the house and what not while waiting for dad’s procedure to start. we were told that it was supposed to start at 5 PM, so it would be just at the right time for us to to pick Harith up from school (his last UPSR test, Aptitude test) at 345 PM.
but at 230 PM, we were told that dad would need to be prepped up for the operation. so dad sent us this touching messages since all of us can’t make it in time to see him before he was anaesthasized.
at 250 PM, dad called and informed us that the operation was cancelled – the kidney stone came out by itself! Praise to God
his doctors gave a clean bill of health around 5 PM so he can be discharged today.
mr. fiance landed in KLIA at 430 PM.
and yes, he has to go back to bintulu again, probably a week after raya. and i’m going to make him promise that he’ll have to be back in KL 3 days after his departure date 
I DON’T CARE. just 2 more months to go!
he came by our house to visit dad after isya’ today. we were supposed to break our fast together but due to the kidney stone incident, we cancelled it.
and dad had been receiving visitors all night. he looks great to me. Praise to God
now, i’m thinking of taking another leave tomorrow. one reason is because i’m tired. another reason is because i want to skip the monthly meeting in dayabumi tomorrow
i think i might take another EL
don’t worry, Dot. i’ll still see you at Mid tomorrow after office hour
365 days ago, i was preparing to board the MAS 737 flight to Bintulu.
365 days since then… i am preparing for my wedding day.
365 days ago, i was single.
365 days since then, i am engaged.
365 days ago feels like a long time ago.
our first date : at a mamak in Bintulu.
our first date in KL : KLCC and then Intai-Intai Restaurant.
one thing i regret is i threw away my boarding ticket… he still has his!
here’s to another 365 days!
